There are two talks we don’t want to have with our parents but both are necessary, the sex talk and the death talk.
I’m in multiple caregiver support groups and a caregiver asked should I tell my loved one they are going to die. Caregivers responded no, never and one person stated I didn’t but I sort of regret it now.
After I spoke with the pallative care director about my dad’s condition, I immediately went and spoke with my dad. My dad and I agreed to be honest and discuss everything. They recommended I start him on morphine asap, I spoke with my dad and asked him if he was in pain. He told me he wasn’t so I refused the morphine. A few days later family members came into town and my dad was able to call each one of their names and talk to them. A day later my dad started moaning and I asked him, are you in pain? He said yes and we talked and I approved the morphine to begin. I knew my dad never wanted to die in a hospital so I asked to take him home to honor his wishes. He was home less than 24 hours before he passed but he was surrounded by his loved ones.
Everyone isn’t given the same amount of time and circumstances so it’s a case by case situation.
Caregivers have you discussed this with your loved one? If it were you, would you want your loved one to tell you?